The press has got a lot of stick lately for phone hacking, bribing police and army officers, harassing victims of crime and generally behaving like arrogant lords of all, so I thought I would report on some good ideas from the Daily Mail which is always careful to report accurately and without bias, and as is firmly reported by them has not been involved in phone hacking.
Solving economic woes: The Daily Mail is suggesting that we remove the numbers 3, 5 and 7 from the number system with some clever and simple advantages.
First, the numbers that get confused are often 3 and 8, or 5 and 6 or 7 and 1, so this would reduce mistakes in accounting.
Second, as anyone with £3333 in the bank would now have £4444 in the bank this would increase the amount of money available for circulation by 25%, a significant boost to the economy.
Third, as any distance like 55 miles would disappear and become 44 miles, we would cut travel by 20% automatically.
As the Tories have 216 seats in Parliament and Labour 242 and Lib Dem 92 they would not change in number but the ‘Coalition’ would be reduced from their combined total of 308 to 208, which would give Labour a majority, so I think the Daily Mail being a Tory paper might not have thought that one through.
It would reduce the Peers from 786 to 686 which would save the country millions in expenses.
Petrol prices are generally around £1.37 a gallon so they would drop to £1.26 which would make lots of people happy so I think there are votes in the idea.
Immigration would be reduced in various ways, so the “25,900 people entered immigration detention” would come down to 24,900, but some of the other figures are not affected at all.
It would mean you could cut the phone keyboard down to just 7 numbers but that would mean packing more letters onto each key, so a sensible addition (this is my idea, not The Daily Mail’s) would be to reduce the number of letters.
The most typed letter is E so that would be a good one to get rid of. G O and D would have to stay for obvious reasons but if we picked the letters carefully we could get rid of a lot of swear words, which I think would be great as people seem to swear every 3rd word, which would of course now be every 2nd word, which would make pretty meaningless conversation even more meaningless.
A simplification of the number system might make everyone more numerate, which I am sure is one of the objectives for The Daily Mail. A is a frequent letter which would make it Th Dily Mil, not very fitting with the paper’s status. i and l often get mixed so removing the i instead would give us the Daly Mal, which seems about right?
The Times would become Th TMS, but most would be the same, though the Economist would become CONOMST, which could get confused with quite a few things, so I think which letters we take out should be considered carefully.
Reducing the number of letters is also a very green thing to do as it automatically cuts down on paper and if we took out the most used letters we could maybe reduce printing costs and tree usage by up to 50% or more, and if we did it twice that would mean up to 100% which would be just great!
We have a shortage of good maths teachers so it would reduce that problem as it obviously takes less time to know maths with fewer numbers, well, there seem to be so many great things coming out of this that I can only congratulate the Daily Mail for its great campaigning on behalf of the British people.
We could see if Avaaz would like to help The Daily Mail with its campaign. What do you think?